"If I have to tell you one more time...!" Oh how many times I've said that, always in complete frustration that my children's ability to retain my instructions are so limited. Or how about when your children ask you how to do something. You tell them how, only to be told by them that's not the best way. At that point I'm thinking, "Yes, with all your years of experience, you know waaaaaay better than I." We feed them, teach them, and guide them all in the hopes that they grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Whether your children attend homeschool, private school, or public school, each year you expect them to learn from what they're taught. Can you imagine visiting someone's house only to have their 16 year old son crawl into the room and cry at his mother's feet for a bottle of milk? Yet so many times, that's how Christians approach their spiritual growth. We know what we're supposed to be doing, yet we don't want to make the changes neccesary to grow. Some changes are easy to make and others are more difficult. The growth process can be painful, but I've found that it's always worth it. So many times I've heard Christians say, "I know I should change ______, but I just can't." Around the Britt house we call that a lie straight from the pit!!
"I CAN do all through Him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:13
"Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wing's of like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2Timothy 1:7
Growth looks different for each of us. Some people get saved and make an abrupt change and never look back. Some get saved and grow over time. I think the important thing isn't so much how you grow, but that you grow. I want to always be searching the Bible and learning from those wiser and more grounded in the Word than I, how to grow deeper in my walk with God. I never want to think that I've grown enough or that this is just the way things have to be. Just as we expect our children to learn from our teachings, our Heavenly Father expects the same for His children.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Timothy was a surprise from the very beginning. After a week of the "stomach flu", I noticed that no one else seemed to be getting sick. Brian and I were very surprised to learn that child number three was on the way. We were supposed to be finished. We had a girl and a boy, which in many cases is considered to be the perfect family. God had other plans for us. After an awful pregnancy, we decided to go Nags Head, NC to celebrate Brian getting his degree from college. I still had five weeks to go and it was only for the weekend. We arrived in Nags Head with two children but came home with three. Other than the shock of delivering him on vacation, five weeks early, everything seemed normal. After our first full day of being home, however, that quickly changed. I could no longer wake him up and he couldn't maintain his body temperature. That first visit to the pediatrician was the beginning of a long journey. It seemed the doctor appointments, lab visits, and hospital stays would never end. They would find something wrong with him and when they would do a test to get a better look they would find another thing that was wrong. In those days it was easier to talk about what worked on his body as opposed to what didn't. He was so frail and weak. I often wondered if he would even make it. When Timothy was about three months old, I told his pediatrician that I was concerned that he never really looked at me. His arms and legs were also pulled tight into his body. The doctor told me that he knew Timothy had something wrong with him neurologically, but that there were so many life threatening issues, he thought I had enough to worry about. Brian and I decided at this point to bring him to our chuch to have him prayed over. Some of the leaders in our church, my Poppa, and people that we were close to gathered in a room to pray for him. I knew that as the prayers were being offered on Timothy's behalf, the Lord was at work. I could feel His presence in that room. When we got home, I took him out of his seat. For the first time, he looked me right in the eyes and smiled at me and his arms and legs relaxed. The next day when I took him to his appointment, the doctor couldn't believe he was the same child. He gathered all the other doctor's and nurse's to come see him. I told them what happened the day before and how God had healed him. They started calling him the miracle baby. The Lord didn't completely heal him that day, but I'm so thankful for the healing He did give. I'm convinced that Timothy had a severe form of Cerebral Palsy. He is now diagnosed with a mild form of CP. Since that day, Timothy has had many ups and downs. He's had four surgeries, many outpatient procedures, test after test run, and countless hospital stays. A few years ago, he was diagnosed with a high functioning form of Autism. It was impossible for me to imagine in those days the boy he's become. He went from being a boy that couldn't talk, walk, or eat to a boy that talks constantly, runs all over the place, and wants to eat all day long. Some days are still really difficult and at times I've wondered why God didn't choose someone better to be his mom. Someone told me once that they couldn't believe that God picked me to be Timothy's mom. That my sister, Ginger, made more sense. I think that's how the Lord works. He doesn't always call the equipped, but He always equips the called. I've realized that the days that I question the Lord's choice is because I'm trying to do everything on my own power. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Yesterday, Timothy turned 8 years old and next Saturday we're going to celebrate those eight years. I don't know what the future holds for Timothy, but I know that the One who created him does. I'm thankful for the chance to be a part of it.