Sunday, July 25, 2010

Timothy...a look back

Timothy was a surprise from the very beginning. After a week of the "stomach flu", I noticed that no one else seemed to be getting sick. Brian and I were very surprised to learn that child number three was on the way. We were supposed to be finished. We had a girl and a boy, which in many cases is considered to be the perfect family. God had other plans for us. After an awful pregnancy, we decided to go Nags Head, NC to celebrate Brian getting his degree from college. I still had five weeks to go and it was only for the weekend. We arrived in Nags Head with two children but came home with three. Other than the shock of delivering him on vacation, five weeks early, everything seemed normal. After our first full day of being home, however, that quickly changed. I could no longer wake him up and he couldn't maintain his body temperature. That first visit to the pediatrician was the beginning of a long journey. It seemed the doctor appointments, lab visits, and hospital stays would never end. They would find something wrong with him and when they would do a test to get a better look they would find another thing that was wrong. In those days it was easier to talk about what worked on his body as opposed to what didn't. He was so frail and weak. I often wondered if he would even make it. When Timothy was about three months old, I told his pediatrician that I was concerned that he never really looked at me. His arms and legs were also pulled tight into his body. The doctor told me that he knew Timothy had something wrong with him neurologically, but that there were so many life threatening issues, he thought I had enough to worry about. Brian and I decided at this point to bring him to our chuch to have him prayed over. Some of the leaders in our church, my Poppa, and people that we were close to gathered in a room to pray for him. I knew that as the prayers were being offered on Timothy's behalf, the Lord was at work. I could feel His presence in that room. When we got home, I took him out of his seat. For the first time, he looked me right in the eyes and smiled at me and his arms and legs relaxed. The next day when I took him to his appointment, the doctor couldn't believe he was the same child. He gathered all the other doctor's and nurse's to come see him. I told them what happened the day before and how God had healed him. They started calling him the miracle baby. The Lord didn't completely heal him that day, but I'm so thankful for the healing He did give. I'm convinced that Timothy had a severe form of Cerebral Palsy. He is now diagnosed with a mild form of CP. Since that day, Timothy has had many ups and downs. He's had four surgeries, many outpatient procedures, test after test run, and countless hospital stays. A few years ago, he was diagnosed with a high functioning form of Autism. It was impossible for me to imagine in those days the boy he's become. He went from being a boy that couldn't talk, walk, or eat to a boy that talks constantly, runs all over the place, and wants to eat all day long. Some days are still really difficult and at times I've wondered why God didn't choose someone better to be his mom. Someone told me once that they couldn't believe that God picked me to be Timothy's mom. That my sister, Ginger, made more sense. I think that's how the Lord works. He doesn't always call the equipped, but He always equips the called. I've realized that the days that I question the Lord's choice is because I'm trying to do everything on my own power. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Yesterday, Timothy turned 8 years old and next Saturday we're going to celebrate those eight years. I don't know what the future holds for Timothy, but I know that the One who created him does. I'm thankful for the chance to be a part of it.


  1. You are exactly right in that He doesn't always call the equipped, but He always equips the called. Thanks for sharing this.

    Praising Him,

  2. What a wonderful reminder. So often I feel so inadequate for the task before me. That would be when I'm attempting to do things in my own strength. However, that's when God shows and reminds me that with Him, nothing is impossible and He gives me what I need to go forward.

    You have such an encouraging blog. Every post directs the reader back to God. :)